Writing is like fighting a war, at least for me. What I mean by that is, writing feels like a battle that I either win or lose. Sometimes, I’m like Lamott, where I write out my shitty drafts, let all my excessive thoughts spill onto the page, then go back, rewrite, and refine until it works. Eventually, I reach what I feel ike is my version of a “perfect” paper. But it’s rare for me to write like that—it’s extremely rare, like comparing it to the Jets finally making it to the Super Bowl type of rare. Because no doubt about it, I’m more like George Dila.
The way Dila describes his writing process is exactly how I write, both creatively and academically. While reading his article, I found myself thinking, “Get out of my head!” because he perfectly described my own writing style.
As Dila said, “I cannot allow myself to write a shitty first sentence.” Well, same here! I refuse to start with sentences that feel shitty or that I don’t like. It has to be “good enough” for me to continue writing, and if it’s not, I’m doomed. One line from Dila’s article really resonated with me: “In fact, I am a ruthless reviser, an eager rewriter. The difference between my process and the ‘let it all pour out’ Lamott method is that I do exactly what she warns against—obsessively revising as I go along.”
Reading that made me feel validated. I had always thought I was the only one who wrote that way. Every time I write, I constantly go back and forth revising while still continuing to write, and as a result, it takes me an incredibly long time to finish. Even after revising my work a million times, I’m still open to making more revisions until it feels perfect. Would I call that obsessive? Maybe. Do I want to change this habit? The logical answer would be yes, but I’m complicated, so my answer is no.
That’s where writer’s block comes in and torments my brain, as if it doesn’t already have enough problems to deal with. I revise as I write, and I do the same when I’m thinking. It happens with everything—even when I want to write something for fun, I tell myself to let the words flow, but my constant revising causes me to lose track of my original idea. Sometimes, I revise so much in my head that the idea is completely gone and I get lost to the point where I can’t recover it. I’ve tried different strategies to escape writer’s block, but none have worked for me. It usually hits hardest when I have an assignment due, and because time is ticking, I don’t have the time of trying new methods. At that point, I write whatever makes the most sense to me, based on the assignment requirements, and hope for the best.
Michaela Ramirez offers solid advice on how to deal with writer’s block, and I like some of her suggestions, but I know they wouldn’t work for me. However, one of her strategies is similar to one of mine—when I have the time to do it. Instead of closing my laptop and taking a nap or waiting for my mind to clear, I do the opposite. I leave my laptop open, lie down, and open TikTok to doom scroll until my brain has rotted away. Then, I check the time, realize I’ve wasted two hours, and that snaps me back to work. Does it help? Well, I usually get at least one page done, which is better than nothing.
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